she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
