My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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