I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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