Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
