I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
