OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
