Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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