i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
