i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
