so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
my liver is dry heaving
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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