My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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