Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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