We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
