my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
