I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
