I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
