we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Welp...herpes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
