Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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