The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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