Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
