Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
