how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
