my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
