had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
