I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You did what with his pubic hair?
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