Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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