OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
