so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
