its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
