just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
