He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
