If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
