roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's never too late to be topless.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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