I am midnight drunk by noon
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
