Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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