I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
