Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
