I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
