If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
