drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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