Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
