So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
