Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
