HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
