This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
