I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I want to stick my p in your. b.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
