Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
