Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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