But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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