he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
