Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
