hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
