I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
