Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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