I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
