someone threw a dead crab at me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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