just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
