she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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