Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
